Sleepover on the Bridge
by DistrictKitten
Summary: It was that time of the month again: the bridge crew sleepover. 1 night only of spin the bottle, cake and as much Romulan Ale as they can take. How will they fare?
1. Chapter 1

It was that time of the month again: the bridge crew sleepover. 1 night only of spin the bottle, cake and as much Romulan Ale as they could manage. Early evening and the prep had already started. Sulu and Chekov were laying out sleeping bags and pinning up balloons complete with streamers, they did not take this event lightly as it was the one night that the two could spend the night together without any questions being asked.

"I eem so exciteed Sulu!" Chekov beamed.

"As am I. But, you know you got pretty drunk last time. You should probably just stick to the vodka instead of mixing it with bloodwine and god knows what." Hikaru replied.

"Ay, I know, I know: but it would nat be compleet without a beet of wodka! And ze bloodvine is scrumptious." Pavel admitted happily.

"I've got some work to do. I'll see you tonight, yeah?" Sulu said as he planted a kiss on Chekov's cheek. He giggled in response and watched Hikaru as he walked off the bridge.


	2. Chapter 2

Bones knocked on the door of the captain's quarters.

"Uh... Jim?" He called.

"Come in." Kirk was standing in the mirror buttoning up his baby grow.

"I don't see how you're going to get Ol' elf ears in a babygrow."

"Well I'm leaving it to you: it was your idea, Bones." Kirk answered.

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker."

"Aw - alright then" Jim pressed his Commbadge. "Spock to the captain's quarters."

"On my way, captain." Spock spoke through the badge.

"Let's see how seriously he takes my orders. Eh?" Laughed Kirk. Bones smiled back. Within the minute the doors slid open.

"You called for me Captain?" Spock asked curiously.

"Does the human half of you love me enough to wear this to the sleepover tonight?" Kirk asked girlishly holding up the onesie.

"Is that... a babygrow?" Spock asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah...?" Jim replied.

"Captain, it is entirely illogical for me to wear that suit. I am neither a baby or in need of embarrassment." Spock pried.

"Come on! Me and Bones are wearing one. They are Starfleet approved."

"But Captain... I-"

"Captain's orders. That's the spirit!" Jim said happily as he threw the blue baby grow at Spock. Bones was on the edge of a smile while they both changed into their babygrows.

"Are you happy now, Captain?" Spock asked rather moodily.

"Yes, thank you very much, Commander." The doors slid open to reveal Scotty in his dressing robe holding a teddy bear under his arm.

"Have any ay ye troops seen Keenser? He was here jist a wee minute ago!?" Jim and Bones looked down at Scotty's bare, bristly legs and wondered to themselves if he was wearing an inch of cloth beneath it. The thought made them shudder.

"I saw him walking towards Engineering on my way here, perhaps you might find him there." Spock replied factually.

"Weel th' dumb bastard is lookin' in th' wrong direction, ainae he?!

"I suppose so, Commander, since you're here."

"Weel ah better go look fur hem. See ye tonight." And with that he continued, cussing down the corridor.

"It's almost 8- should we go to the bridge?" Kirk asked.

"I'm meeting Uhura. I'll see you there." Spock said matter-of-factly before leaving.

"Just us then, Jim." Bones said.

"I guess so." They walked out of Kirk's room and up to the bridge.


	3. Chapter 3

"Nyota?" Spock called when he entered her room.

"I'm just changing, Spock." He stood by the door and waited for her to emerge from the bathroom.

"Are you okay, baby?" She asked him with a smile as she tied her hair back into two pigtails.

"Yes, quite... and you?"

"I'm great. Looking forward to tonight?" She asked, eyeing his baby grow in the mirror whilst she clipped back stray strands of hair.

"Marginally."

"I'm all done. Shall we go?" She said putting her feet into pink bunny slippers to match the rest of her frilly pyjamas.

"Bunny slippers, interesting."

"What's interesting about bunny slippers?" Uhura asked puzzled.

"Lieutenant, I see no reason for you to wear an animal from earth as a foot comforter. It's illogical that of all the animals you'd choose a rabbit. Surely an arctic animal such a bear or fox is more adapted for such jobs."

"Shut up, Spock. They're cute." Uhura said exasperatedly. She grabbed Spock's hand and they walked out of her quarters towards the bridge.


	4. Chapter 4

On the bridge the festivities were just beginning. Scotty had found Keenser. Sulu and Chekov had put on some music and were dancing whilst Kirk and Bones were talking to each other in their sleeping bags.

Uhura and Spock walked in and everyone gave a cheer.

"Everyone's here naw. Lit th' parteh begin!" Screamed Scotty merrily with a glass of scotch in hand, "nice hair, Lassie!" he chuckled at Uhura, quite clearly intoxicated already.

"Who wants a drink?" Said Kirk cockily, holing a large decanter of Romulan Ale.

"I em okey. I hev wodka." Admitted Chekov.

"Oh come on, Pavel. Take one for the team." Kirk joked as he poured 8 glasses. They each downed the vivid blue liquid.

"Woo!" screamed Jim. Romulan Ale gets you drunk instantly: They weren't kidding.

Uhura's eyes widened and she spoke in a strained whisper: "that is seriously strong." At once she stumbled and Spock had to catch her.

"I found it quite refreshing." Spock admitted. He was the only one still sober and Keenser had passed out on the floor.

"Aye, et don't agree wit Keenser's system." Scotty noted. "Yer, thas right- ye Vulcan folk dunt git drunk de ye?"

"Quite right, Commander." Spock replied.

"You're about to be the first then." Kirk handed Spock the bottle of Romulan Ale which was still almost full to the top.

"Surely you don't expect me to drink all of this?" Spock asked unsurely.

"Captain's orders!" Jim replied with a hiccup.

"I really wish you'd stop abusing that statmen-" before he'd finished Jim pushed the bottle to Spock's lips.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" The crew cheered. When he'd finished Spock slammed the bottle down onto a nearby control panel before steadying himself.

"Kirk I- I think you're right." Spock admitted, looking dizzily around the room.


	5. Chapter 5

"Well now we've got an empty bottle..." Him trailed off.

"Spin ze bottel!" screeched Pavel girlishly with a giggle. The crew gathered in a circle in front of the captain's chair and placed the empty Romulan bottle in the middle.

"Who's first, Captain?" Asked Hikaru happily.

"I nominate... Spock." Jim flirted. Spock looked drunkly at the bottle before crawling forwards to spin it. Round and round it went before landing on Bones.

"You've gotta be kidding me." Moaned McCoy.

"I am not /that/ drunk." smiled Spock.

"Rules are rules." piped in Scotty. Bones and Spock looked helplessly at each other.

"Dammit Jim, what happens at the sleepov-"

"Stays at the sleepover." grinned Kirk. Spock crawled tipsily over to Bones and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Enough?" He called over his shoulder at Jim.

"No..." He answered surely. Spock leaned closer and planted a kiss firmly on Bones' lips.

"How about now?"

"No." Spock placed his hand on Bones' cheek and pulled his face aggressively towards him, eyebrows raised, kissing him passionately. Bones grabbed Spock's waist and pulled him closer until he fell over onto him. Chekov started to giggle until he caught Kirk's eyes which were green with envy. Within the second Jim grabbed a hold of Nyota and did the same, Spock entirely oblivious. Scotty began to eye up a helm beside him, dreaming of what he might do to it if the others weren't around. Scotty was snapped out of his fantasy as Sulu clapped his hands loudly to get the lovers' attention.

"Um... should we carry on?" He asked awkwardly. Spock was startled by the sound of Hikaru's voice, his face bright green with Vulcan blush. Kirk removed his face from Uhura's and they all took their seats once again, with an awkward silence following.


	6. Chapter 6

"Everybody! Lit us hev some wodka!" Trilled Chekov as he passed a bottle around. When everyone had taken a sip or two he downed the rest of the bottle, wiping the corner of his mouth afterwards. "For ze Starfleet acedemy days!" he screamed as he began to run around in his galaxy onesie. The crew all laughed and the tension was gone.

"Send me to warp Hikaru- I must go explore the universe!" they all laughed and drank for a little while using Pavel as the main source of entertainment before someone suggested they play hide and seek.

"Ze whole sheep?" Pavel asked in shock.

"Pavel's right. I do think that is rather challenging Jim." said Spock.

"A challenge is exactly what I'm looking for." Kirk replied cunningly. "Spock and Sulu you're the seekers. The rest of us hide. If you don't manage to find us all within a half hour we'll rendezvous back at the bridge."

"Count to 100 to give us time, yeah?" Nyota asked.

"Of course." Sulu nodded.

"Okay! Everybody run." Kirk squealed. At this time of night the halls were mostly empty but the crew felt the need to shove anyone they could find anyway.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." Sulu began to count.

"I need some more drink." Spock announced, before walking randomly into someone's quarters and using their food dispenser for some more Kali-fal. Spock got back and downed another bottle just before Hikaru reached 100 and the began to run tipsily along.

"To the Holodeck!" Spock shouted in a brainwave: what better place for them all to hide? The doors opened to find a dense jungle setting.

"Computer. Who is currently in this simulation?" Sulu asked.

"James T. Kirk, Montgomery Scott, Pavel Chekov, Nyota Uhura, Leonard McCoy, Spock and yourself." The computer answered.

"Thank you." Spock said to the computer: he must've be drunk.

"So they're all hiding somewhere in here." Sulu said cautiously.

Spock and Sulu soon uncovered everyone with Spock's logic on their side... except for Pavel. The whole bridge crew were hunting through the thick vines calling his name.

"Computer. Where is Pavel Chekov?" Sulu asked worried. The computer pointed them to a large tree. They could hear loud, Russian singing emerging from the highest boughs.

"Pavel!" Sulu called.

"Ay, Hey Hikaru! I almost thought you were nat coming to fend me!" Chekov giggled from the heights of the tree.

"We're here now, can you climb down?" Asked Uhura.

"I'll try." Pavel sighed before falling out of the tree straight onto the floor. Sulu helped him up.

"Thet was fun." He said with a chuckle. Pavel planted a kiss on Hikaru's lips before Sulu throwing Chekov over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

They all made their way back to the bridge.


	7. Chapter 7

When the crew arrived back on the bridge Kirk ordered some cake and bloodwine from the food dispensers. They happily ate and drank further into oblivion. Keenser began to stir and with a firm kick in the ribs from Scotty he was once again conscious, joining the circle.

"Oh my god. We've got to play 'Never have I ever...' people." Nyota declared.

"It can't hurt." agreed Jim happily, his thoughts lingering on Spock and Bones' earlier escapade.

"I'll stert- i've git a good one." Chekov announced, "Never hev I ever had sex wit an alien race." Uhura and Spock looked at each other and lifted their cups of bloodwine in sync. Unexpected movement came from Scotty's area. Both he and Keenser had drunk. Scandalous faces were pulled at the pair.

"Et wus one time. Fur godssakes! Why ye lookin' at me like that?!" Scotty shouted defensively and the crew burst into hysterics. Keenser made an unapproving noise and stomped off the bridge.

"Sorry, baby." Scotty spoke softly to the Ship as he affectionately stroked the carpeted floor. The laughter began to die out and the game moved on to Kirk.

"Never have I ever..." He stopped to think for a moment. Chekov jumped up from his seat and began to run around again. The limelight shifted from Kirk to Chulu as Karu leapt from his place and jumped on Pavel's back.

"Warp engines on full!" They screamed. One by one the rest of the crew got up and joined them running in loops around the Captain's chair. Scotty skipped happily over to the music system, finding an album called 'Tribal Sounds'.

"Aye, ah hope et's git Bagpipes. Th' sound o' home." He giggled before joining the crew again. The music changed and suddenly instead panpipes played.

"It seems to be a different kind of tribal music, Scott." Spock told him as they all began to act like native Indians.

"Aye, Spock." Scotty agreed before patting his mouth with his palm like a Chief and skipping onwards.

When everyone was too tired to dance they sat around the Captain's chair pretending it was a campfire. They sang old, earth folk tunes from centuries past. "It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday!" Before Chekov finally burst into song like he did in the tree. "Эй, я только что встретил вас и это безумие Но вот мой номер, так что позвони мне, может быть," the crew looked at him confusedly. "Sorrey." he said solemnly and the crew began to laugh drunkenly again.


	8. Chapter 8

"Makeover time!" Sulu trilled.

"Oh me god. Ah ainae puttin' up wit this all night." Scotty moaned. He walked over to the side of the bridge, pulled off his dressing gown revealing everything and grumpily pulled a duvet over himself. Scotty grumbled as he stroked the carpet of the Enterprise once again.

"I'm in, but don't go too heavy on the blue eyeshadow." laughed Spock.

"Ere you going to make me look beauteful?" asked Pavel fluttering his eyelashes merrily.

"I am going to turn you all into divas! Then we'll have a fashion show." Sulu announced.

"Work your magic, lieutenant." Uhura sang.

"You know, makeovers were inwented in Russia." Chekov said sweetly but everyone chose to ignore him. Once the makeup was done it was a Kirk vs. Spock battle trying on Uhura's clothes. Spock come stumbling out of the meeting chamber in a sparkly, tinsel dress that Nyota had worn for the Christmas party at Starfleet the previous year. He'd even topped it off with his personal favourite: a sparkly feather boa. Tripping over his bunched up babygrow that he was still wearing beneath, he stumbled down the side of the bridge drinking more ale and asking the crowd: "Am I Spocking this outfit?" with a guffaw. Bones sat in the Captain's chair cheering and clapping for him.

"I'm living long and prospering..." Spock managed as he stumbled over to Bones and seemed to pass out on his lap.

"I guess that means that Jim wins!" Karu shouted happily, holding Kirk's arm in the air in victory.

"Kirk you are the princess of Starfleet: how do you feel?" Uhura asked like a reporter.

"FABULOUS!" he shrieked and they all began to crack up laughing again.


	9. Chapter 9

Chekov whipped past the princess, the makeup artist and the stylist. He was still pretending to be the enterprise, making one more lap around the chair before running at Sulu trilling "This is the Enterprise, ready for docking." and colliding with him, knocking the pair onto the floor. They giggled and rubbed noses.

Bones had fallen asleep in the captain's chair with Spock passed out on top of him. Scotty was hugging one of the helm control panels with his scotch glass full again.

"Main viewer on." Princess Jim commanded. Karu reached up to one of the helms from where he was laying on the floor with Pavel. The wall of the bridge become riddled with stars.

"It's beautiful, isn't it Princess Jim." Uhura admitted.

"Sure is."

Sulu got up and went over to the stereo and put on Celine Dion before grabbing Pavel's waist and hoisting him up on one of the helms. Karu climbed up behind him and nestled his chin into Pavel's neck. Chekov giggled and lifted his arms up, staring lovingly into their reflections before the stars on the viewer.

"Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, That is how I know you go on..." They warbled to each other.

"Vhy is ther no vind machine?" Pavel joked before blowing air at Karu's hair and laughing.

"Near..." Hikaru sang.

"Var...!" Pavel screamed.

"Wherever you are...!" They sang.

Scotty, Uhura and Kirk just stared in amazement.

Pavel burst into to tears: "I jist love you so much, Karu."

Sulu began to sob and they continued wailing to the song.

"Are they okay?" Jim asked the others.

"I- I think so." Nyota replied.


End file.
